'Beat the clock’ with children who hesitate to act appropriately.

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Children who misbehave often do so because they see it as an option of more fun than the good behavior their parents are trying to teach them to combat. Parents can work to make good behavior a fun for their child. One great way to turn good behaviour into fun is a behavioural game to play where patience is nurtured. Design a game where the child needs to wait for his turn.

“Beat the clock’ with children who hesitate to act appropriately.

Discussing good behaviour with children:

Children need to understand that while it can be fun to engage in good behavior, it can be serious to engage in nasty behaviour.

Game beat the clock:

It’s a simple game that is usually embraced by children. It is a way for parents to time their children  when performing a certain tasks such as making their bed, getting dressed or picking up their toys because they are being timed. Note the timings of their activities slow/fast.

One child seven years old, quite competitive and perfectionist but gets angry and frustrated if others do better than him or if he is unhappy with his own work he goes into sulky strops but at home where he can be given space and ignored the last minute but at school over the last few months its all got out of hand.

I feel the school mishandled situations initially. A minor incident such as tearing up his own picture resulted in five members of staff getting involved, then he was allocated a mentor who after weeks of breathing down his neck said he couldn’t work out how to help him.

He lost his confidence in how to behave which was apparent at a recent children’s party, when he was being play tackled and teased, he walked unhappily away as though he no longer trust his judgement or ability to interact without getting told off. His behaviour was under the spotlight and appears as a result to have got worse at school. The school brings me in meetings but they seem to have come to their own conclusions. How do I protect and help him from being labelled as troubled or bad? I feel bright, interested, sensitive child is being demonised.

Suggestions:

At just seven years the child can be helped to overcome his difficulties, all too often we hear about children whose behaviour has been misinterpreted and handled in what we perceive to be an inappropriate way, and this simply serves to make the situation worse I am always quick to encourage parents to talk to their school and work with the teachers, but it seems that in this case the parent feels that the school has potentially made the situation worse for their son, and led to a deterioration in his behaviour.

The child clearly takes a lot of pride in his work which should be admired and praised, however if he is finding it hard to cope with other children doing better than him at school than this is the first issue that needs to be addressed. It is important that children receive regular praise and encouragement for all their school work and activities, but it is equally important to stress that nobody gets everything right all the time and that being perfect at everything is simply not realistic. One way to help the child could be to identify different people within the family or circle of friends who all have a particular talent in one area. Ask relatives or friends to talk to him about the strengths and weakness that they have. This may help him to understand that he simply can’t be brilliant at everything all the time, and that we all have our strong points. It is unfortunate that the child has put himself under such immense pressure to be the best, as this kind of stress can impact negatively on all of us.

A bright little boy who wanted to do his best and enjoy the company of other children but who is now scared to get involved in case he does something wrong. I would encourage parents to go back to the school and state their child’s case again as unfortunately the school will be pivotal in helping them and their son overcoming these difficulties.